Thursday, September 17, 2009

that still, soft voice

I've been feeling out of sorts with myself for a number of weeks and I know just what the problem is.......its a combination of the change in the season, the turning of the leaves, the threat of colder weather, and the fact that I am SICK of my JOB. I said it and its true. The people I work with are lovely, and my bosses are generally very nice bosses, but this job has served its purpose and its TIME to MOVE ON. So I've been secretly job hunting. And I found something...... two somethings......and I almost made a terrible mistake.

Back up. Remember how I'm in school getting my masters in education? Well- school is slowly but surely getting harder. I'm taking statistics right now. I probably don't have to say much more than that, but for those of you who have never sat thru a statistics class taught by a Japanese person who is perfectly sweet, remarkably intelligent, and has a VERY thick accent; it goes a little something like this: WHAT IN THE NAME OF JACK'S PAJAMAS IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?
Remember how I just got a puppy? Well- Hazel is slowly but surely getting bigger, and her energy levels keep rising. I swear one day we're gonna wake up and she will have made pancakes, painted the living room, given both cars oil changes, herded Oscar and FancyPants around the block a few times, and still bouncing off the walls like some insane clown escaped from the crazy circus. Clarke or I walk her twice a day and play all weekend long- I've lost 7 pounds so far. so theres that.
Remember my husband? Cause I don't. I feel like I haven't seen him in weeks. The arrival of Hazel coincided with the start of his movie. For a solid month I hung out with my dog while my husband spent all his time on a movie set. It was great for Hazel's and my relationship, but not so great for the husband and wife team extraordinaire. Now that Clarke is back, we are having to redefine the spaces in our house, split up the chores again, clean up after each other again... its like moving in with eachother for-the-first-time-all-over-again.

Now. About my almost terrible mistake. My hectic life and not-so-fulfilling job experience led me to call my friend Hannah (the stage manager of my life). She helped me get my current job and then she quit. She now works at a cool chiropractic clinic called HUG Chiropractic. They were looking for a part-time or full-time office assistant/therapist's assistant/marketing and sales type person. And I interviewed for the position(s). I had a fabulous time at the interview, loved the staff, toured the office and felt right at home.... and then walked out of the office and started to cry. Why? I had no idea. I got back to work, back to my cubicle, and stared at my computer screen while I tried to figure it all out. Why would I be sad? I had a great interview. I dont' like my current job. Bad job out, good job in, Helen is happy... right? nope.

Then I had a thought.

Maybe what I need right now isn't another "place filler". Maybe what I really need right now is a REAL JOB. In my CHOSEN FIELD. what a concept. I thought about it all weekend, talked to Clarke, prayed to God, and listened to that quiet voice inside my heart.

Monday morning I called the wonderful people at HUG, thanked them for an enjoyable interview, and withdrew my application for employment. And then I went to work and settled into my perpetual funk. I was wandering around "the internets" (avoiding actual work) and found myself on Craigs list, and found a little job posting.....

TEACHERS JOIN THE FUN: Rewarding PT opportunity for charismatic teachers to join a well established, excellent after after-school drama program. Previous drama and/or theatre experience and classroom experience is required. Full training and lesson plans provided. Excellent pay. Send your resume to: Drama Kids International @ 144 Redwood Lane, Hoover, AL 35226 or email to

And there it was. I almost skimmed right over the posting. It was so simple and straight forward and I didn't even realize it was an answer to my hearts prayer until today while driving to the interview! Lemme say that again..... It took me FOUR DAYS to realize that this was what I had been praying for. I returned from the interview a few hours ago and am still basking in the after glow of my great fortune. (whoa, that sounds so dramatic) I have found meaningful work. I'll explain the details later, but suffice to say that this is EXACTLY what I need.

And here's the point of my ramblings: I would have missed this if I hadn't listened to that still soft voice. I call it God, you can call it what you want but you know its there- its the happiness you feel when you know you are in the right place, its the uneasy-ness surrounding your bad decisions, its the unexpected, unexplained love that comes from total strangers. So listen up.


  1. That job description sounds like it was made for you. I'm surprised it didn't contain the word "fabulous" in there somewhere. All fingers are crossed at the Beck house. Good luck!

  2. I love you...all the time...for who you are, and for who you are to me. Go get 'em, Hellz.