I've been thinking. I am going through a crisis/reinvention/rebirth of sorts.... (A shocked gasp rises from the crowd, "No, Aunt Fab. Really? We couldn't tell from the length and color of your hair....) But seriously. I defy anyone to tell me that they turned 30 without some sort of Grand Pause. Here's what I'm thinking: Turning 30 for me was like turning a corner, seeing the rest of my adult life stretched out before me, and realizing I was at the beginning of something great. I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't have a momentary What-Am-I-Doing-Where-Is-My-Life-Headed-Freak-Out. 'Cause I did. You see, its a timing thing with me. I worry that 30 is too late to be starting a new career, and too late to be starting a family. And what about owning a home and a car and a vaccum cleaner? Because until very recently i had none of the above. While I didn't rush out to buy a house and steal a baby, I do own a car now. And a vaccum cleaner. And after the panic subsided, and the floors were dust free, I had a nice talk with myself. I realized that I am EXACTLY where I'm supposed to be. And whats more, I am HAPPY. I like my life. I like that I am following my dreams to become a teacher. And its perfectly ok if it takes me a few years to get there. I don't have to do it all at once- I don't have to rush up on the future so fast that I forget to BE HERE NOW. I also like that my husband is following his dreams of making movies about people in the South. As long as we do what brings us happiness, as long as we do Good, Serve and Love others, and have a little FUN.... how can we be sad?
I have the prayer of St. Theresa tacked to my cubicle wall above my computer and every morning I re-read this section, " May you trust that you are exactly whre you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others..."
And here are a few more words I lean on when I feel burdended with fear or doubt....
"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?....... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
- Matthew 6: 25-34
So no worries, my friends-be at peace with yourselves! And have a Fabulous weekend.